i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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