summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
