It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
