It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
