get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
