I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
