Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
