I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
