this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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