I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
