Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
