you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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