I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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