I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
