At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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