If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
whose parrot is this?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
