12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
