i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
