All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How naked do you want me to be?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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