We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
