I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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