Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
