my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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