Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
