His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
