We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There are leaves in my underwear?
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