I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
