After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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