pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
