he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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