No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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