You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
