im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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