I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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