Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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