its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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