I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
