please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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