You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
