I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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