Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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