i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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