New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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