we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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