Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
