My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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