my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
