yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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