i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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