every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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