There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
