I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize