So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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