pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish you could order shots online.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
