i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
