I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize