Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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