ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize