so explain again why im purple
no
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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