Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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