Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
