New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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