its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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