Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so let's talk penis.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
