i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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