super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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