The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
